Quotes/toad

<toad> my mother is a man

<toad> When I was 5, I peed myself trying to turn off a solar powered calculator.

<toad> yeah I was eating donuts on the highway, and it's impossible to count them.

<toad> I sing in hebrew when jacking off

<toad> I just put my bag of garbage into the washing machine

<toad> I just cut my toe nails for the first time in years with an instrument other than my teeth

<toad> god made horses so we could have sex with them

<toad> I've got it about an inch long now
<toad> it was probably ~30cm before
<ASk> your penis is now an inch long?
<toad> yes
<toad> I had it cut
<toad> 12" is too big

<toad> oh wait there are more than 30 hours per day

<toad> ..
<toad> why do I cut my toenails in bed
<toad> they've all gone missing
<toad> that's not going to be comfortable
<toad> I just found one and it got stuck in my finger and now it's bleeding

<toad> ..............
<toad> I've just done the stupidest thing ever
<toad> instead of emptying my pasta into the draining thing I just emptied it into the sink

<toad> I read a newspaper during my prom

<toad> :x
<toad> I had a fucking crazy dream
<toad> I was in a eurostar train
<toad> and it was slowly filling up with yoghurt
<toad> and I was trying to throw the yoghurt out the window and the controller started shouting at me

<toad> yeah my left ball is also much larger than the right

<toad> Byte: not playing chess again tonight
<Byte> why not?
<toad> because I've been having chess dreams for two nights
<toad> and they're really boring
<Byte> lol.
<Crad> and here I thought they would be moving

<toad> <3 scotch and semen
<toad> my favorite drink

<toad> Nitro go away stop bothering me
<toad> haha I just remembered when I was in preschool I went to play in the playground in a little hut
<toad> and a kid said "go away" to me
<toad> I was totally sad and started crying

<toad> hehe I found a switchblade comb
<toad> scared the shit out of my sister
<toad> I popped it out and stabbed her

<prompt> your dad smokes?
<toad> the pipe, occasionally
<toad> the cock, rarely

<Byte> f''(toad) = 0
<toad> I'm an inflection point!!

<toad> my sister saw the pictures of me having sex with her

<toad> I also tried snorting pepper once

<toad> ive not had a suppository since i was like 5

<toad> I once told a black man that he came out of his mom's anus

<ShALLaX> how comes you turned your back on the world of technology?
<toad> i had a bad experience with a robot

<toad> did you know that the female kangaroo has 3 vaginas
<ShALLaX> sounds like horseshit m8
<toad> want to bet
<toad> uh okay
<toad> google image search for kangaroo vagina was a bad idea

<toad> Rustynails: nice job sorting out the who's and whose
<toad> you get one toadbuck
...
<Rustynails> .KETCHUP!
<toad> haha ketchup that's clever
<toad> you get another toadbuck
<Rustynails> lol
<shallax> haha
<Rustynails> i have 2 toadbucks:)

<toad> I'm not going to shit in the toilet
<toad> it wouldn't go down the drain

<toad> by a freak coincidence I've simultaneously run out of toilet paper, tissues and kitchen paper towels
<toad> let us hope I don't get a violent attack of diarrhoea tonight

<toad> god my nose is so backed up I can't even use my spray
<[CSI]ManVT> time for a good hot steam bath, or some really spicy food
<toad> I had really spicy food but it didn't help
<toad> I'll just pour some boiling water up my nose

<toad> so I had a weird dream
<toad> that I had a pet lobster
<toad> but eventually this lobster became my left hand

<toad> I was dreaming about vim
<toad> and that I was stuck in command mode I couldn't go into edit mode
<toad> er insert mode
<Richards> wow lol
<Richards> geekyness
<toad> yeah, a new low
<def> yes, that's beyond even me
<toad> I was fucking with vim all day yesterday
<def> vim nightmares